Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Love One Another …. The Post I’ve Been Waiting For

     I’ve tried for months to write this post. After a “comment” from a branch president… I’ve been worrying and praying and trying to figure this out. You see he told me that ‘someone’ had mentioned to him that I am acting like an expert in parenting and that I didn’t deserve to have this blog. Well, of course it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. You see back when I first started this blog, I was on fire! I loved it! I knew with all of my heart this is what Heavenly Father wanted me to do! I loved the fact that lots of LDS Parents could gather together and share ideas and encourage each other! I loved it! Then, with one comment, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Two years I’ve done this blog. I’ve had many amazing friends and writers who have guest posted on this blog, and basically I hadn’t even written a post myself, for quite a while. So why, did this person think I was trying to be an ‘expert’ ??

     I immediately sat down and re-read the entire blog. I felt proud of the blog. Then I tried to re-read it in the point of view of the person who had commented on this. I still loved it. People who know me in real life, all gathered around me and said, you do NOT act like you know it all. You are a humble parent. That made me feel good. It’s true… I am absolutely the most guilty, overwhelmed momma around! I always feel like I could be doing more. But that is one of the reasons I started the blog. Because I wanted ideas… I wanted other people’s points of view, how did they deal with things ? I wanted to research and write about topics that concerned parents all over the world. I certainly didn’t want anyone to think… oh she knows it all. I soooooo do not know it all…… I don’t know anything ! I’m still learning and will continue to learn each day of my life! So, basically, I stopped writing. I wanted to see if I could live without LDS Parenting. I wanted to see if I could live without this blog. After a couple of months, I realized I missed it to much. So here I am…. laying it all out on the table. Yes I mess up. Yes I am dealing with a chronic illness and I can’t do all the super amazing things that I want to do. Yes I love my kids and I love being a parent. It’s the most important work of my life! The reason I was born! So the blog is up and running again. I don’t even know if anyone reads it anymore, but I’m here. I’m going to keep writing and inviting people to write here and researching and studying and learning!!!! Would you care to join me ??
     So here’s to a new start. Happy Parenting! Love, JL~


KaseyQ said...

Ugh! I hate it when comments like that poison my mind. Whenever you put yourself out there, like in blogging, you open the door to criticism.

I had an experience a few months ago where a nasty comment was directed my way (not through my blog- but it was a criticism about my parenting skills which are the WORST most hurtful criticisms, in my opinion). Like you, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like an infection that festered and bugged me to no end.

Finally, I decided I needed to face it head-on. I asked myself, “Is what she said true?” The answer was no. Once that was settled, I realized that when people make unnecessary critical comments like that, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I thought about the jab that had been directed at me and I thought, “I would never say something like that to someone. I would never want them to feel inadequate in what they’re doing. That’s just mean.” Then I realized- the comment had far more to do with the person who said it than it had to do with me. Just because someone says something doesn’t make it true, but it does expose a truth about them. I realized that the person who said it about me clearly felt the need to put me down for some reason. Maybe I intimidate them? Maybe they feel that their parenting skills are lacking so they feel the need to point out others’? I had a feeling that it stemmed from insecurity.

I decided that I could continue on my way and, rather than dwelling on untruths, focus instead on the person who was feeling inadequate. I decided that I would do my best to show my appreciation and love for her so that she would hopefully not feel the need to make those sorts of comments to me- or anyone else- from that point on. I was able to forgive and show an increase of love, and recognize that hurtful comments only hurt if you believe them.

Keep doing what you love and remember that when people put you down it says a lot more about them than it says about you. :-)

Jaelle Kaylor said...

Such important words !!!! Thank you! I appreciate it so much!