Holding Private Interviews with your Children

In the Family Guidebook located at lds.org, it states that “many parents find that regular, private interviews with each child help them draw close to their children, encourage them, and teach them the gospel.” Isn’t that what we are trying to do as parents?

How do you hold a private interview with your child? An Ensign article gives us some good tips. ( Ensign June 1997, p 59)

“1. Hold interviews regularly. If children know an interview is coming up, they will be more likely to conduct themselves as to live up to parental expectations.

2. Remember that mothers and fathers can interview children jointly or take turns giving interviews separately. Either one can hold an interview in the absence of the other.

3. Pray beforehand for the Spirit to help you discern problems and know how to counsel your children.

4. Begin with a prayer. Heavenly Father cares about your interview and will help guide the process.

5. Be prepared to listen more than speak.

6. Don’t compare one child with another.

7.When behavior needs correcting, give a clear but loving explanation of what’s wrong and what need’s to change.

8. Agree together what words best describe each problem; then write the problem om a sheet of paper. Direct any criticism to the words on the paper, not the child.

9. Don’t compromise gospel standards “just this once” our of love for your children. Instead, use gospel standards to guide your decisions.

10. Don’t discuss one child’s problem with other children. Keep confidences.

11. Praise each child generously and cheerfully.

12. Bear your testimony often. “

(end quote)

These are great tips to go by and remember that Heavenly Father will guide you in raising your children in a way that He is pleased with. Use the alone time with your child to hear about school, friends, any problems they are having etc. It is a wonderful way to show your child how much you truly care about what goes on in their lives.

There is no set schedule for when and where to hold a private interview with a child. Use your discretion, you can have them as often as you want, or when you feel the Spirit prompting you. I like to personally spend a little time with each child before bedtime. This is something that I have done since they were babies, and now that I’ve learned more about private interviews, I know it’s time to get my husband involved etc, so that we can make sure that our children know they can come to us for anything and that we will listen. Also, I want my children to have the feeling that their parents really care about what’s going on in their lives and also that their parents will do their best to help solve problems! Do you hold private interviews with your children? Any tips to share??